... iron sharpens iron

I have a friend who gets me.  She understands me spiritually, emotionally, and socially. She is also a

stay-at-home mom by choice.  She has been such an example for mothering and "housewife 'ing" to me.  When I first became a mother, I continued teaching for 2 school years.  It was a challenge to find the home work balance many speak of; I was excellent at my job but felt inadequate as a mother.  I had read somewhere that children have no long term memories prior to age 3. I kept telling myself, if you can figure out this mothering thing by the time Will is three, you won't screw him up.

When Will was 2 & a half years-old, we relocated during the summer.  This left the perfect opportunity to try my hand at stay-at-home mom'ing with no teaching job in sight with an out of state license.

I remember evenings my husband would return home and ask, "What DID you do today?"  I remember one day distinctly.  My husband arrived home to me sobbing on the kitchen floor.  "What is wrong?" he asked.  "I'm just not cut from the housewife cloth," I wailed. "I'm not good at cleaning, and I can only make hamburger helper from a box."  You see friends,  I had unrealistic expectations of myself.  In a era of Matha's and Betty's, I felt I could never measure up.

I dove into baking with my toddler sidekick He and I did crafts together (this was before pintererst and my husband called it "crapt'ing").  But, I always had this sinking feeling, that I was faking it. I didn't really know what I was doing.  The amazing thing is that my sweet big heart'd boy didn't know any different.  I was the only mom he had ever had.  He did miss his friends from daycare, but I feel we became buddies, both experiencing a career change and being thrust into homemaking together.   He been a former daycare kid, who took great joy in being the class social director.  I was a pretty fantastic teacher, even being "promoted" to lead teacher, spending time filling in the office when the principal was in district meetings.

We both found our identity somewhere other than my home.  I met the friend I mentioned in the introduction once my youngest son was in full time kindergarten.  Yes friends, that was a lot of years of trying to fake it until I could figure out how to make it.  She had relocated from Kansas City, the exact city I had relocated from 6 years prior.

This particular friend had found her identity in her role in her family.  She finds great joy is baking treats for her husband and kids to enjoy when they return home from their busy days of school, teaching and pastor'ing.  She plans delicious menus and joyfully gathers the ingredients (most of us groan and call this grocery shopping)  She crafts the most gorgeous creations: scrapbooks, wall canvas', hallway art, homemade journals, veggie and flower gardens; she is filled with joy in the results of her creative genius.  This sister in homemaking has modeled the art of being gifted at this "cooking & cleaning thing," for me.

So fast forward 12 years to when I was first plunged into life as a stay-at-home mom.  This past year, my life goal has been to be filled with joy.  I seek joy in my flowerbeds planted over a decade of spring's and fall's.  I delight in the little green tendrils beginning to break through the earth and sprout, bringing motley joy.  I enjoy planning recipes and gathering the ingredients needed (especially ones crafted by the great Ree Drummond and the exuberant Rachel Hollis, my spirit women.)  I see the value in time spent sharing a cup of tea with a colleague in this profession of at home mom 'ing.

Do I wish I worked?  Heck ya.  I miss the classroom.  I miss spending time with other creative spunky educators.

Am I proclaiming all moms should stay-at-home?
Absolutely not.  I am just sharing the tale of how I was thrust into the life of homemaking, a life that I honestly did not desire, and how my higher power provided a mentor to guide me as I fumbled my way through.

I think the shifting point for me was admitting I was not a Martha or Betty. Asking people who were better at certain things for advice, help and guidance.  Finding what worked for me and my tribe of fellers, and doing what brings me joy.

I have been having a hunch that this season of staying at home is winding down.  That the perfect opportunity will present itself for me to re-enter the classroom.  We shall see what opportunities unflold.  For today, I'm going to pencil in some time with my sweet friend, who's mentoring has sharpened me.  When I complement her, she always responds, "Iron sharpens iron."