..."dreams..."

"To accomplish great things, we must not act, but also dream; not only plan, but also believe." 

- Antole France, 19th century French poet

We all have to have a dream... or else our soul doesn't always have something to 'fight' for.... to keep on keeping on...

We need to share our dreams... rather than keep them locked away, hidden in our soul.... when we share them our friends and family help to keep us accountable... on the track to achieving them...

In his book The 4-Hour Work Week1, Tim Ferriss enlightens us on many non 'quid-pro-quo' ideas... that an 'upside down' campfire is awesome, burning with fervor... to set a specific time during your work day to return voice mails & emails, to increase productivity... AND to have a DREAM....





Dave Ramsey has a new book coming out in September, EntreLeadership... he has been hostingLeadership Seminars via simulcast this past fall-winter-spring... my husband and I have a true admiration of his Bible based financial & business theories... Brock attended the seminar in November, I had to stay home with a sick kiddo.... he discussed the idea of setting goals: business, personal, physical, AND spiritual....  official dreaming = goal setting.....

Brock & I sat down this winter... and set personal goals in each category and then together set family goals....  we wanted to get out of the rat race of soccer & activities ... and get back to having fun as a family...

We made a pack ... "no organized activities for 1 year" ... we made it 6 months... the boys wanted to check out karate... we relented.... a weak moment & a great sales pitch... but it has been good... focusing on individual discipline & strength... a more flexible schedule, picking 3 sessions per week that fit into your schedule...

We scheduled a family vacation.... after a family vote (I was ambushed, & don't get to enjoy the beach this summer) ... we booked two weeks in Yellow Stone... renting a cabin in Montana at the parks North gate... and a cabin in Jackson Hole, Wyoming.... seeing American beauty at it's finest....

We set many other goals... they may be subjects for future 'tales'...

But our BIG dream is to sail... we want to someday take our kids and sail for 3-months-1year.... to live life out on the open waters... to read books, with no television in sight OR earshot... to be at the whim of nature... to captain our ship, teaching our boys to sail uncharted waters... to enjoy how the Lord starts each day with a sunrise, not an alarm clock... and ends it with a magnificent sunset retiring into the horizon...

The details of this dream are daunting... how would my husband work? ... how will I school the boys... are there really modern day pirates....

I find some comfort in Jesus' words in Matthew 18 ...

Matthew 18:19 (New Living Translation) 19 “I also tell you this: If two of you agree here on earth concerning anything you ask, my Father in heaven will do it for you."

.. now don't think that I am taking the word and twisting it to be what I want... I know that I have to trust in the Lord with this dream... I know he will provide and work out the details IF & WHEN He sees fit... who knows, maybe He will have Bibles that desperately need to be delivered to a remote island in the Caribbean archipelago.... but for now it is okay for my husband and I to dream! .... for it gives the soul hope....

1 Tim Ferriss, The 4-Hour Work Week (New York, NY.: Crown Publishing Group, a division of Random House, Inc., 2007, 2009)

..."you can't always get what you want..."

Who says great philosophy can't come from a rock & roll song... I've been on an 'oldies' kick.... playing my oldies playlist on my ipod in the car.... my oldest son loves the choir that opens the  Rolling Stones song "You Can't Always Get What You Want" ... my youngest wants to know, "If we are listening to the 'Christian' channel"....  I feel it is somewhat important to not raise my kids in a bubble... we are called to be the 'salt & light' ... I am just selective about what secular 'things' I expose them to...

Once Gwen Steffani was belting out "I ain't no Holler-back Girl" ... during the song my oldest asked what she was saying..."that's my SHIP" ...  is the conclusion he came to.... I promptly switched off my hip-hop playlist.... out of the mouths of babes....

I really do listen to Christian music most of my day.... SHINE.FM 89.7 .... we felt called to become donors when my youngest said a cuss word... we asked where he had learned it... "In Dad's truck, on the radio," he retorted.... my husband became a SHINE.FM fan too.... out of the mouths of babes.....

I was turned on to Christian music in the late 90's .... I longed for a morning commute not filled with the smut of city style talk radio ... a college friend, & sorority sister, of mine has a brother who felt called to go into youth ministry in Nashville, TN.... later to become the pretty well know artist... Mark Schultz.... his song 'Remember Me' was the one that drew me in.... one of our friends said it would be the next "That's What Friends Are For".... but, I always felt the song was sung in first person, by Jesus... him telling us to remember him in: ... "the Bible cracked and faded through the years".... "the sanctuary filled with silent prayer..."  "as the children leave their Sunday School with smiles..."
...take a listen on youtube at the link below....
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5PVKFa8K4G8

I still love my oldies though.... my 80's & 90's rock... they were the songs of my years filled with youthful abandon... and I can't help but think that there are some good 'life lessons' in those lyrics too...

Poison- "Every Rose Has It's Thorn" ... "just like every night has it's dawn"

Guns N'Roses - "November Rain" ... "it's hard to hold a candle in the cold November Rain"

Guns N'Roses - "Sweet Child O'Mine" ..."reminds me of childhood memories... where everything was        as fresh as a bright blue sky"

Bon Jovi - "Livin' on a Prayer" ..."we gotta hold on to what we got.... we're half way there... take my hand & we'll make it"

... and then there's the Rollin' Stones.... Mick Jagger's plump lips telling us that "you can't always get what you want... but you get what you need..."

This makes me think about the Lord.... I'm always shooting requests his way... but He doesn't always give me what I want... He gives me what I need .... when I need it.... shaping me into the creature He has planned me to be... on the timeline He has planned for me....

In Nehemiah, the prophet tells us about how the Lord sustained His people for four decades...

Nehemiah 9:21 (New Living Translation) "21 For forty years you sustained them in the wilderness, and they lacked nothing."

... the Israelite's lacked nothing... they were camping in the desert... roaming in circles... being sustained by the Lord...

...in the Psalms King David pleases with the Lord for sustenance.....
Psalm 119:116 (New Living Translation) "116 Lord, sustain me as you promised, that I may live!  Do not let my hope be crushed."

As I have spent my morning time with the Lord wrestling with this, I have come to the conclusion that I have to trust in the Lord.... pray for his sustenance... pray for my hopes to be in line with His... "not my will but THINE"...  because I may not always be able to get what I want.... but I will get what I need... from the Maker of the heaven & earth....

..."there goes the neighborhood..."

I have had this idea rumbling around in my head.... my 9 year old and my Dad, his Grandpa, built a birdhouse together... maybe, 6 years ago...  we were on a spring time visit.... we used to do that before school... before routine.... life was a little more 'fly by the seat of your pants' back them...

So my oldest got the idea in his head that he wanted to build a bird house... my Dad looked at me with questioning eye.... we asked what sparked the idea.... he had seen it on a cartoon on PBS... a boy built a birdhouse with grandpa, so logically he would too.... I suggested a lean-to simple structure... they worked out in my Dad's quonset for a few hours... came into the house to ask Grandma what colors of spray paint she had on hand...

I am proud to say the birdhouse still hangs in our yard... housing a family of chick-a-dee's each spring.... this will be it's 7th spring as a 'casa' ...my cat frequently scales the tree to see if 'anybody's home' ...

I've been waiting for them to show up... soon to follow are the morning doves that wake me at 5:00 a.m. each summer... the blue jays that bully all the other birds... last summer I tried to bribe my boys into using the birds as target practice with their B-B guns... I have raised boys with big hearts... and their Dad has taught them well... to not shoot 'non-gaming' birds.... they wouldn't do it... not even for me....

Once the birds all show up, I know the chance of sleeping in .... will be slim to none....

Today I found a new 'neighbor'... and the direction of this 'tale' is swerving.....

Yesterday morning as I was raising the blinds in my bedroom... to let in a little sunshine... I spotted a bug.... I called for my oldest to bring me a paper towel..."You can't kill it Mom!" he replied.... "It is one of God's creatures you know."  ... So my youngest showed up in his under-roos with his bug habitat in hand... they wanted to 'cage' it...

They were successful in their mission while I backed up to a distance, watching my kindergartner nimbly wriggle between the wall & bed ... they laid out the 'insect identification guide' to see what it was... it appeared to be a black beetle... but his wiggling antennas has me fearful that it may be a more pesky pest... a pet famous for urban survival... a call was placed to the exterminator... rather promptly...

So my youngest begged and pleaded to take him to school... "He's never seen what kindergarten is like." ... so I relented, allowing the bug to be a stow-a-way in the backpack....

Today was visitation day at school... it is Christian Education Week, so our boys school has invited parents, grandparents, perspective families in to their walls to have a look..

I forgot about this when I allowed the bug...

So between morning errands I made my 'drop in'... to see the bug toted around, set next to the teacher for 'carpet time'... to know that he had been named.... something that now escapes my brain....

I was mortified... I had sent a bug, possibly a roach, to school on a day that all the other parents would see my son proudly parading it around.... I am a pretty down-to-earth type farm-girl... it takes a lot to 'ruffle my feathers'.... in my defense, I think the creature 'hitched a ride' in my husbands brief case.... we used to have a rule that the brief case stayed in the truck.... it must have slipped the radar....

So there goes the neighbor hood.... (insert a smile) ... the exterminator will come, the problem will be solved....

So this has me thinking... are there people or issues or trials in your life that you are struggling with? ... someone or something that you wish could easily be dealt with, kind of like the exterminator?

In the book of Romans the apostle Paul writes about trials...
Romans 5:3 (New Living Translation)
"3 We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance."

I should REJOICE in problems? ... REJOICE in trials? ..... they help to strengthen us... to give us stamina...  ENDURANCE.... the Lord wants me to sometimes be uncomfortable? ....

So the bug has been 'pardoned'... at least for a few day... he's a tough sucker, lasted 24 hours without food and water.... the boys added cat food & a little towel with water... he can live in the habitat out in the boys fort.... I keep reminding my brain that he was 'cute' in the movie Wall-E...

With the birds showing up, maybe the Lord has new 'morning plans' for me.... maybe He is conditioning me to wake early... with a joyful heart (that's a tough one)... maybe the Lord is training me for summer, when my boys will return to the house all day... leaving me with little free time....

... to spend my daily time with Him in the early morning light... with a choir of feathered friends to seranade me....

..."withdrawal..."

So the minutes of sunshine in Indiana are infinitesimal.... except for July when the sun shines, the humidity soars & the yard dies.... going into sunshine overloard...

Winter is a monochromatic scape of snow, snow & more snow....

Spring transitions into fog, drizzle & rain, & more rain, & more rain..... good for the corn being planted into the earth... not so good for me... my body, mind and soul crave sunshine.... a vitamin D deficiency is sure to be diagnosed...

My sister-in-law has a new business... Indulge Sun-less Tan.... if we lived closer, I'd be an addict...
http://www.indulgetan.com/
She trained with the company in Beverly Hills... her little tanning machine is like a suitcase.... the handle pulls out of the top & she pulls it along... delivering women (& men too, she doesn't discriminate) golden happiness....

the picture at the right was taken on New Year's Eve... my golden hue, compliments of our
sister-in-law... I teased her that her company slogan should be..."Your hotness, My tan... indulge custom tan"...

When we are in Kansas City she 'tans' me for free.... she can practice on my unusual skin...

I'm a bit of a freak of nature... I have vitaligo, a skin condition with splotches of white-ness... no pigment found in them.... I developed this when I was five... after lots of skin 'scraping' our family Dr. diagnosed it, leaving little treatment... I learned to live life being spotted... I don't really notice it... it's when I am around someone new.... a new class of 6th graders when I was a teacher... a group of kindergarten Sunday school-ers.... who asks, "What's up with your skin?" .... (insert smile).... it doesn't bother me.... I simply explain that when I was five, the Lord decided to make me spotted....

Once my own son replied, "like a giraffe," .... yes, like a giraffe...

With the forecast showing 'drips' all week.... and no sunshine on the horizon..... I'm in withdrawal.... I need a little vain hint of color... even if it is sunless.... my soul needs a vitamin D infusion.....

This has me thinking about another type of sun..... the "Son"...

"Believe in the Son and the truth shall set you free!" John 8 (paraphrased by me) 


... another verse from my personal Bible mandate... I tell my husband if I ever do get a tattoo, that is going across my lower back... with a 'funky' sun in the middle...

Jesus told his follower about this 'freedom' & it confused them .... not understanding what 'being set free' could feel like... after a lifetime of Roman oppression....


 John 8 - "31 Jesus said to the people who believed in him, “You are truly my disciples if you remain faithful to my teachings. 32 And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”
 33 “But we are descendants of Abraham,” they said. “We have never been slaves to anyone. What do you mean, ‘You will be set free’?”


 34 Jesus replied, “I tell you the truth, everyone who sins is a slave of sin. 35 A slave is not a permanent member of the family, but a son is part of the family forever. 36 So if the Son sets you free, you are truly free. ”


The freedom Jesus is describing is spiritual freedom... friends I can tell you it is amazing... the grass is greener... the sky is bluer.... the magesty of the Lord is all around.... flowers blooming... birds singing... frogs croaking... all living the life the Lord intended for 'them' as his creation... they are just being... being the flower, bird or amphibian the Lord created them to be....

Humans are a different creation... we are sinful by nature... we resist 'being' .... and spend most of our lives 'doing'..... being the best at our profession... filling our lives with sporting activities and hobbies... we have not mastered the craft of being, like the rest of nature surrounding us....

In his book The Gift of Being Yourself, David Benner discusses the idea of ..."Living the Truth of Our Uniqueness."  Benner explains, "God meets us in our individuality because God wants to  fulfill that individuality.1"

In living the "truth of our uniqueness" .... and being in the word of God... the Truth (Jesus' Gospel)
will set us free....

So for the time being, I think I need to invest in a seasonal light... to charge my hypothalamus, giving it the vitamin D it craves... finding a good spray tan place in Indiana to give me my vain "hotness" in the form of faux color.... then the signs of withdrawal shall fade away....

I believe in the Son... I am set free by His Truth... that really should be all I need...

1 David Benner, The Gift of Being Yourself: The Sacred Call to Self-Discovery (Downers Grove, IL.: Inter Varsity Press, 2004)

..."break out the good stuff..."

He is risen! ... He is risen indeed!  This is the Easter greeting I learned as an adult... planting an Evangelical Covenant Christian church in Shawnee, KS.... I love it..... it wouldn't be Easter without it....

Yesterday started with Easter baskets... brimming with chocolate bunnies, Christian t-shirts.... egg gum in a miniature egg carton (a favorite my mom always put in our Easter baskets), a wind-up chicken that poops gum eggs.... a fun morning... a sugar high....

We had an amazing Easter service at church... singing the old hymn "Up From the Grave"... my 6 year old sounding like an Oakridge Boy (he was still singing it on the way to school this morning)....
praising our Lord and Savior who is "Mighty to Save"... who conquered the grave!

We hosted 17 people for Easter dinner... such a fun afternoon.... our auntie & uncle... cousins from Wisconsin... our surrogate aunties & uncles in IN... my husbands "workout buddy" (Brock avidly works out at 4:45a.m. weekday mornings)....

My 9 year old helped me set the dining room table Saturday afternoon... my husband & 6 year old out on an errand....

He said, "Let's break out the good stuff, Mom." ... pointing at my husband's grandmother's vintage china hutch... he was suggesting we use the 'fine china'....

I use my china, silver & crystal twice a year.... Christmas, if we are home in Indiana... and on Valentine's Day... a tradition I started with my boys a few years ago... setting a 'fancy' table... cooking seafood, a twice a year treat as well....

So we got out the china... we polished the sterling silver (Francis the 1st, following in Brock's Grandma Toll's footsteps)....

What a great day it was... the food was del-ish... Brock smoked pork tenderloin on the Treager my mom & dad gave us this Christmas... everyone brought a 'dish'... cheesy potatoes... asparagus casserole... creamy fruit salad... key lime cheese cake... we ate well... and were ready to be 'rolled home'....

We were in the mood to 'veg' after our tummies were full ... the boys retreated to their 'den' to watch Ant Bully.... Brock & I put on our stretchy pants and curled up on the sectional... having a "Kennedy's" marathon... almost devouring the whole series in an evening...

The dishes had sat on the counter, while our rears warmed the couch.... once we were finished "making like broccoli".... it was time for showers & stories for the boys... then off to dream & slumber...

the dishes still on the counter....

I have never been a good housekeeper.... I once broke out in tears to my husband when the kids started school this fall, "Now I'm just a housewife... not even a stay-at-home mom anymore... and I stink as a housewife...."

So, with the brood in bed I filled the sink with steaming water & bubbles and set to work scrubbing... I always hated washing dishes by hand... even as a kid at my Grandma Lenore's farm, you had cousins to keep you company while washing....

But the day had been a joyous one... and I decided to wash with 'joy in my heart'....

My mind started to wonder as I scrubbed... about the family members who had gifted us with these fine things at our nuptials.... about Brock's Grandma Toll, setting those Francis the 1st pieces out for every Sunday dinner of my husband's childhood....

... AND before I knew it, the dishes were done.... setting on the dining room table waiting their turn to be put away for the summer....

This has me thinking about two things....

I love how my son asked me to "break out the good stuff"... the fine china that is stored away in the hutch...

Psalm 147:14 (New Living Translation)  "14 He sends peace across your nation and satisfies your hunger with the finest"....

I set to work washing dishes with joy in my heart... and the task speed by... filled with memories & gladness...
Psalm 144:15 (New Living Translation)  "15 Yes, joyful are those who live like this!  Joyful indeed are those whose God is the Lord."
So in the future will I "break out the good stuff" on a more regular basis... or leave them in hiding for 8 months....

AND .... when a daunting tasks awaits... will I do it with joy in my heart....

..."the incredible, edible..."

EGG...

Easter egg...

A favorite comfort food for my boys and I are scrambled eggs.

A tradition at our house is 'weekend breakfast'... my husband is following in the footsteps of his father... he makes a big breakfast on Saturday and Sunday mornings... sustaining us 'til Saturday cow chores are completed.... or 'til lunch is prepared after Sunday service...

I have even perfected the "speedy scrambled egg"... cooked in the microwave for school when the boys need a protein boost...

As a girl a favorite was a fried egg... my dad would fry them in bacon drippings... divine...

The egg is also a very prominent symbol of Easter.... the Easter egg... our church sponsored a community egg hunt...
140+ un-churched & churched in attendance... loured by the free eggs & goody bags... this year the organizers toyed with the idea of hiding empty eggs ... a disappointment at first... but a very teachable moment... a time to cleverly share the Gospel & pass out goody bags, teaming with treats....

So my kindergartner had a similar idea... their class has an 'estimation jar' .... an empty jar is sent home with students, and they are to fill it with 10-100 of a matching type of 'thing'... he is obsessed with Legos... so usually the estimation jar is filled with Legos or Lego people.... the creativity being limited... but last week I prohibited Legos.... challenging him to stretch his imagination.... what he came up with brought tear to my former-teacher-eyes... "Mom, let's fill the estimation jar with empty easter eggs.... then after we count them I can tell my class how they are like the empty tomb... Jesus is risen... He is risen indeed!" .... "but can I bring a candy to share with each of my classmates?" ... out of the mouths of babes... a smile is fanned across my face as I type this ....

This has me thinking about WHY the egg has become such a symbol of Easter....

Wikipedia gave me a great history on eggs...
"Easter eggs are special eggs that are often given to celebrate Easter or springtime.  The egg is a pagan symbol of the rebirth of the Earth in celebrations of spring and was adopted by early Christians as a symbol of the resurrection of Jesus.
The oldest tradition is to use dyed or painted chicken eggs, but a modern custom is to substitute chocolate eggs, or plastic eggs filled with confectionery such as jelly beans. These eggs are often hidden, allegedly by the Easter Bunny, for children to find on Easter morning. Otherwise, they are generally put in a basket filled with real or artificial straw to resemble a bird's nest."


It even elaborated on the Jewish (the belief system of the Old Testament)and Christian (the belief in the New Testament) Symbol ...



Jewish Symbols and Practice "At the Jewish Passover Seder, hard-boiled eggs called Beitzah dipped in salt water symbolizes the Hashlamim, the festival peace-offerings sacrificed at the Temple in Jerusalem to be eaten on Erev Pesach.
There are good grounds for the association between hares (later termed Easter bunnies) and eggs, through folklore confusion between hares' forms (where they raise their young) and plovers' nests.The mention of eggs left for children in connection with the Germanic goddess Ostara in the supposed Old High German lullaby is considered a literary forgery."
Christian symbols and practice

"Orthodox priest blessing Easter baskets at Pascha (Easter) in Lviv, Ukraine.

The egg is seen by followers of Christianity as a symbol of resurrection: while being dormant it contains a new life sealed within it.
In the Orthodox and Eastern Catholic Churches, Easter eggs are dyed red to represent the blood of Christ, shed on the Cross, and the hard shell of the egg symbolized the sealed Tomb of Christ—the cracking of which symbolized his resurrection from the dead. Easter eggs are blessed by the priest at the end of the Paschal Vigil, and distributed to the faithful."

Easter usually occurs in spring ... some years when we have a March Easter, the Indiana weather isn't that spring like.... not very conducive to the Easter outfits of shorts and sleeveless dresses... sandals left sitting in the closet .... but this year Easter is at the end of April.... spring has sprung.... the birds are in full force... sounding like a choir of  Star Wars R2-D2 's in my backyard woods.... calling to one another.. . another answering back...

The robins are busy building nests... to house their amazing-God-created blue eggs... I took this picture at the left last spring... a first time robin mama having build her nest only 2 feet off the ground in a dwarf spruce... returning, a few days later to find in empty... fodder for the neighborhood cats, I'm sure... an empty nest...

The TRUE Easter story is like this nest in a way...

Jesus was laid to rest in the tomb on Friday, 'Good Friday' for us... when Mary Magdalene, Johanna, & Mary the mother of James, went to the tomb on Sunday, Easter Sunday for us... they were shocked to find it empty...
Luke 24:3 http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Luke+24&version=NLT#fen-NLT-25958a

this parallels to the shock the mama robin probably felt when she returned to an 'empty nest'.....

A part of the Luke 24 Easter story that doesn't always get the attention it deserves takes place on the road to Emmaus..... take a look at Luke 24: 13-27   
"13 That same day two of Jesus’ followers were walking to the village of Emmaus, seven miles from Jerusalem. 14 As they walked along they were talking about everything that had happened. 15 As they talked and discussed these things, Jesus himself suddenly came and began walking with them. 16 But God kept them from recognizing him.
 17 He asked them, “What are you discussing so intently as you walk along?”


   They stopped short, sadness written across their faces. 18 Then one of them, Cleopas, replied, “You must be the only person in Jerusalem who hasn’t heard about all the things that have happened there the last few days.”


 19 “What things?” Jesus asked.


   “The things that happened to Jesus, the man from Nazareth,” they said. “He was a prophet who did powerful miracles, and he was a mighty teacher in the eyes of God and all the people. 20 But our leading priests and other religious leaders handed him over to be condemned to death, and they crucified him. 21 We had hoped he was the Messiah who had come to rescue Israel. This all happened three days ago.


 22 “Then some women from our group of his followers were at his tomb early this morning, and they came back with an amazing report. 23 They said his body was missing, and they had seen angels who told them Jesus is alive! 24 Some of our men ran out to see, and sure enough, his body was gone, just as the women had said.”

 25 Then Jesus said to them, “You foolish people! You find it so hard to believe all that the prophets wrote in the Scriptures. 26 Wasn’t it clearly predicted that the Messiah would have to suffer all these things before entering his glory?” 27 Then Jesus took them through the writings of Moses and all the prophets, explaining from all the Scriptures the things concerning himself."


So this has me thinking.... are you a person Jesus would call 'foolish'? ... not seeing the prophesy of the Old Testament and the obvious fulfillment of it in the death and Resurrection of our Lord... pronounced dead by the Romans, the most medically advanced civilization of the time... walking & talking on the road to Emmaus 2 days later... living & breathing the 'Good News'... OR are you a paradox to foolish.... knowing the wisdom & truth of the Messiah... our incredible Redeemer.... spreading it to all you know and love? ...

as for me & my house ... He is risen! ... He is risen INDEED!

..."painting the 'skull' away..."

We own a rental property that housed a tattoo shoppe when we bought it ... they moved out, under the cover of night, about a week after we took possession...

I used to tease my husband that we might have to barter tattoos for rent... he was glad when they left... fear full I would ink my skin...

We turned the space into an apartment.... it's nice really... but I had never gotten around to painting over the skull and cross bones of their logo... painted across the windows...

Yesterday I spent part of my morning painting... I enjoy painting... it's therapeutic, the back & forth strokes of the brush... in about half an hour the traces of "rizing addiction" had vanished...

I spent the earlier part of my morning helping with motor skills stations in my kindergartner's PE class... before the class began the entire school filled the gym for an all school chapel... a teacher read the story of Jesus entering Jerusalem on a donkey... dinning with the disciples at the last supper... and going to the garden of Gethsemane to pray.... in the garden the teacher explained to us that the word explains that Jesus 'fell' face down in prayer.... in 'child's pose' for you yoga finatics.... then she had everyone in the gym, students, teachers, parents, go 'into child pose' to pray as Jesus did.... very kinesteticly moving...

Jesus cried out to his father, "not my will, but thine".... your will Lord, not my will....

How many times do we do things out of selfish motivation... pray because we want something.... pray for God to make things go our way....

Do we die of our selves, and allow God to make us new? ... being washed by the blood of the Lamb...

I ended my day with a Maundy Thursday service at our church.... lots of hymns... excellent reflective readings about each of the nails Jesus took for us... the nail of self ambition... the nail of betrayal... the nail of rejection...

As we entered the service there were children passing out nails... after the sacrament of communion we were invited to confess our sins & place our nail in a basket... all those nails in one basket.... all those sins Jesus washed away when he die on the cross....

In Colossians the apostle Paul tells us, "He forgave ALL our sins." Colossians 2:13

He forgave all our sins... all of them... we are sinners... each and every one of us... it's our human nature... but the Son of Man took them into his "basket" and wiped our slate clean...

AMAZING LOVE.....

Today is Good Friday.... this is the day Jesus was hung at a place called Golgotha.... which means 'skull'...

It seemed fitting that the Lord had me start my day yesterday painting away the skull and cross bones.... and ending it reflecting on the nails he took for me at Golgotha, at the skull...

So, do you know the Love of Jesus?  Did you grow up in church and have been there your whole life? ... have you strayed away from the Lord? .... he is waiting for you with open arms... with a basket for you to toss your 'nails' into.... all you have to do is pray, have a talk with Him really and say...

Jesus I accept you as my Lord and Savior... I open the door of my heart to you... wash away my sins... thank you for loving me... thank you for dying on the cross for ME.

As I wrap this up... the tears are streaming down... they are tear of joy, of love , of amazement that the Lord of Lords loves me... he loves a 'wretch like me'... so much that he sent his only son to earth as a baby... knowing what would become of him, to convince a race like us.....

here are a few lyrics from Chicago native, Matthew West's song "Only Grace"

From the album “History”

There is no guilt here

There is no shame

No pointing fingers

There is no blame

What happened yesterday…has disappeared

The dirt has washed away

And now it's clear

There's only grace

There's only love

There's only mercy and believe me it's enough

Your sins are gone

Without a trace

And there's nothing left now

There's only grace

..."can you tell me how to get, how to get to ...."

When I was in labor with our first son I was given Stadol for pain .... a side effect for me, were hallucinations....

Between contractions I would fall into a deep sleep... dreaming of being a kid... playing with my cousins....  on Sesame Street.... crazy, I know....  but one of my strongest childhood memories is of Sesame Street, brought to popularity on PBS  in the 1970's... comparable in fame to today's Dora or Thomas .... Sesame Street was the 'cartoon of the times in my childhood.... available to everyone on public television... spending millions on research and development ...


I am guessing that my body's way of dealing with extreme pain and distress, was to revert back... reverting to my childhood...

I have been on a spiritual journey over the past 5 years, facilitating courses for http://www.vantagepoint3.org/

Their materials specialize in spiritual formation & Christian leadership... looking at your life and creating a timeline of the events of it... the good, the bad, and the 'ugly'.... and what the Lord was doing through them... through all the events of our life the Lord is trying to teach us something... a life lesson... if we ignore Him, another lesson will pop up later in our time line to reinforce the Lords 'point' until we understand his lesson....

All of this 'life reflection' has made me reminiscent of my childhood... my childhood was fun, lots of time spent playing with cousins on the farm... building and sleeping in tents of sheet on the clothes line... building forts out of hay bales... riding horses and four wheelers... sledding on car hoods behind a pickup...

... sliding down the stairs in a sleeping bag "toboggan" with my sister... playing hide and seek in the yard at night... riding bikes to the grocery store for snacks... packing lunchbox picnics to consume at the park, at the top of the 'tornado' slide...

... bringing home my baby brother... my dad teasing we should name him "Spot".... dressing my brother in my cabbage patch's clothes.... dressing him up as "cookie monster" complete with blue spiked hair.... my mom sewing my clothes with matching frock for my doll... mom baking chip-less chocolate chip cookies, because I liked them that way...

The most important lesson that I realized through my life timeline is that as a child I loved the Lord completely.... as a kindergartner I had to make a book about ME... I drew my best friend as Jesus and my parents enrolled me in Catholic school... I had a fondness and friendship with the Lord...

At church this Sunday an elementary boy was singing to the worship songs with his arms wide open.... HIGH AND LIFTED UP.... uninhibited.... connecting with the Holy Spirit & the Lord...

At what age did I become inhibited... by society... by peers... at what age did I stop freely connecting with God?

I help in my kindergartners class giving reading quizzes... this week a little boy burst through the door and said, "Mrs. Peterson, I have a song for you.... 'Our God is and awesome God'.... wait, I know the sign language, this means God (signs hand in front of nose)...." then he belted out the rest... uninhibited...

What an amazing display of joy in his heart....

In the Old Testament Joshua tells us about love...

Joshua 22:5 ... "5Love the Lord your God, walk in all his ways, obey his commands, hold firmly to him, and serve him with all your heart and all your soul.”

Moses tells us the law of the Lord too...

Deuteronomy 6:5 ..."5 And you must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your strength."

... love the Lord with ALL your heart... with your arm wide open, connecting with him, uninhibited... just like a child....

As a child Sesame Street taught me preschool skills... but it also taught life lessons in love, joy, and kindness ... Big Bird, Oscar and Grover treated each other with respect... loving their neighbors .... the basic principles of the Gospel of Jesus...

So this has me thinking of myself as an adult believer ... do I love the Lord with ALL my heart? ... do I love the Lord with ALL my soul? ... do I love the Lord with ALL my strength?

I think I have a lot to learn from the two boys the Lord placed in my path this week.... I need to worship my God with open arms, voice belting... uninhibited... with all my heart, soul & strength ...

..."terms of endearment..."

I recently got one of those "friend" info surveys.  What's book would you read over & over.... What would your last meal be.... What movie brings you to tears... what movie can you quote line by line.....

my answers:  Summer Sisters by Judy Blume.... mom's fried chicken with mashed potatoes & her white country gravy,  a close second would be mom's chicken and noodles, plopped on top of a scoop of mashed potatoes & corn.... Steel Magnolias.... Pretty Woman

another favorite movie is Terms of Endearment.  It was "a little before my time," but I watched it as an adult about 5 years ago... as a mother of two young boys.

Emma (Debra Winger) and her mother Aurora (Shirley MacLaine) have a love/hate relationship.  Emma follows her husband and moves far away from home... to Nebraska, I think.... While living in the midwest Emma discovers she has cancer... Aurora flies into Lincoln, Nebraska... bent on rescuing her daughter from the cancer which is ravaging her body ... a true portrait of motherly love.  Typically is the daughter being the caregiver for an elderly parent.... a modern tragedy ....

I feel blessed to have never faced illness on this scale... for myself or those I love.

Emma and her husband have had a "falling out"... his intimacy had strayed... leaving Emma's parting-of-this-world, a difficult one... Aurora ends up taking the kids back to Houston with her ... back to child-rear-again.

My favorite line of this movie (there are many) is Emma talking to Flap, her cheating husband, on her deathbed in the Lincoln Hospital..... expressing her opinion on child-rearing...

 "it's a lot of work.... as hard as you think it is..... you end up wishing it were that easy....."


Raising kids is a lot of work ..... just when you think you have it figured out... they throw you a curve ball.... making me feel like I'm back up to bat.... some days wanting to shield my face, rather than take a swing...


When trying to figure out what I was doing as a neophyte parent with and infant ... then a toddler I used to think, "Child development says that most children don't have any memories before age 3" .... if I can get it figured out in the next three years... I won't scare their memories too badly... they're 9 & 6 years old & I'm still learning...


I see myself in the character of Emma.  She wasn't always the most obedient daughter... didn't always show her mother her appreciation... Being a free sort of spirit... being moved far from home....


As a mother Emma has many run-ins with her oldest son Tommy ... before she passes, she tries to talk with him... 


"I know you like me. I know it. For the last year or two, you've been pretending like you hate me. I love you very much. I love you as much as I love anybody, as much as I love myself. And in a few years when I haven't been around to be on your tail about something or irritating you, you could... remember that time that I bought you the baseball glove when you thought we were too broke. You know? Or when I read you those stories? Or when I let you goof off instead of mowing the lawn? Lots of things like that. And you're gonna realize that you love me. And maybe you're gonna feel badly, because you never told me. But don't - I know that you love me. So don't ever do that to yourself, all right?"


My oldest son and I had a "run-in" yesterday ... he wanted me to stop bugging him about correcting a math paper... I wanted him to stop dilly-dally-ing around and get it done.... he said something disrespectful ... 


sticks & stones may break my bones, but words will ....


I'll admit I lost it... then gained composure & squirted liquid soap in his mouth... when I was five I said a bad word at day care... they made me sit in time out, for what felt like an hour... with a bar of Irish Spring in my mouth... I didn't cuss again, for a long time....


At bedtime he apologized... I don't think he really even understood what it meant... something absorbed from a peer, or TV ... the result of a society spiralling into moral corruption....


I spent many hours wallowing in my own self-pity.... taking a long soak in a bubble bath, with a glass of Cabernet to drown my sorrow.... sorrow for his loss of innocence.... sorrow for my reaction... I began to think about all of the comments... the nagging, etc., etc. that had easily rolled off my tongue ... venomously striking.... not to be taken back once they have escaped... spilling out of my mouth... Lord give me kaopectate for this mouth of mine...


A favorite verse... one on my personal Bible mandate is from the book of James...



James 1 (New Living Translation)


"17 Every good and perfect gift comes from above.... from the Father, who created all the heavenly lights."


... then just a few verses later James gives us some steadfast advice...


... "19 my dear brothers and sisters: You must all be quick to listen, slow to speak, and slow to get angry."

Our children are our gift from the Lord... we have been given providence over them.... to raise them, feed & clothe them, hug & kiss them, teach them about Jesus & His love ... to be Jesus to them and the world...

Our children are sponges... soaking up our words and actions... the good, the bad AND the ugly...

... they will parrot our words and actions back at us .... it is my job to make sure they are full of love and goodness...


Yes raising children is challenging... for me, a former teacher who had impeccable classroom management, "controling" the behavior of 125 6th graders was a piece of cake.... yes there are days you wish is "were half that easy"


I know that God is good and faithful... and if I meditate on James 1:19 .... if I allow the "mantra" of it to fill my mind as my brain wants to let words spill from my mouth .... the Lord will help me to listen first and speak... only when I have thought it through....  so that my "good & precious gifts" always know that they are just that to me... through the words and actions I shower on them ...


So my nine year old asked my if I would snuggle with him at bedtime last night... his way of trying to get a free backrubb.... his way of waving a white flag of forgiveness....




P.S. sorry for no pics today... had some fun Terms of Endearment images of MacLaine & Winger, but my server won't load them this morning....

..."the best is yet to come..."

My original inspiration for today will have to wait... I'll enlighten you another day.

Today's post is in honor of one of my true and constant Gamma Phi sisters & the lost she still feels today...

see link for today's omaha.com article...
http://www.omaha.com/article/20110416/BIGRED/704169712

Fifteen years ago I was a junior in college at Kansas State.  I worked at an optometrist trying to make ends meet.  I was a rule follower, at least when it came to work... work = money for a college student...

I felt the urge to call in sick, something I hadn't done at this job, feeling luck to have it. The doctor was great about working around my class schedule.... but the urge persisted and I called in... faking an illness...

It was steak night at my sorority... a once a month treat... I would get to enjoy my steak & eat it too, table side with my friends... most meals were eaten out of a styrofoam box, solo in the house basement, after I returned from work.... the food packed and stored in the fridge by our "kitchen boy."

Another sorority sister waitressed at an Aggieville bar... 12th Street, now Kites I think, .... the phone rang that Thursday afternoon... it was Grosko, calling from 12th Street.... turn on ESPN.... they are broadcasting Brook Berringer was killed in a plane crash.

"You're crazy!" I replied.... "Drue is upstaris in Loser Lane taking a shower to go out tonight."  .... "Go tell her...."

So up the stairs I went... entering the pink tiled communal bath.... "Drue, have you talked to your mom today?" I asked.  "No, you better shower & get ready so we can go out," she replied.
"Drue, get out of the shower & call you mom, please?"

... the Lord had plans for me to be there that day... for my friend...

After this, my western Kansas friends life began to spiral ... how could this be?  The NFL draft was 2 days away... the draft that was supposed to take Drue's brother to the NFL....

Dozens of Gamma Phi's made the 8 hour trip to Goodland, Kansas...to pay our respects... camping out on another sister's parents basement floor .... but what I remember most is a request to pray before we left the house we stayed in .... all of us... 2 dozen at least... held hands and prayed in a circle of sister-ly unity.... a circle of witnesses...

Brook was piloting a small plane to speak at a Fellowship of Christian Athletes banquet in Kansas City the day his plane went down...he was going to share the Good News...the new of Jesus our Savior...he was written on the palm of the Lord.


But the Lord had different plans that day.... Jeremiah 29:11 (New Living Translation)
"11 For I know the plans I have for you,” says the Lord. “They are plans for good and not for disaster, to give you a future and a hope."

Many of us questioned the Lord... why? .... a man of fame, importance, a man who spread Your word?...

The answer why never really came... but we can look to the words of wisdom Isaiah shares about comfort in the Lord .... Isaiah 43


The Savior of Israel


" 1.....the one who formed you says,
   'Do not be afraid, for I have ransomed you.
      I have called you by name; you are mine.
 2 When you go through deep waters,
      I will be with you.
   When you go through rivers of difficulty,
      you will not drown.
   When you walk through the fire of oppression,
      you will not be burned up;
      the flames will not consume you.
 3 For I am the Lord, your God,
      the Holy One of Israel, your Savior.'
   4 ...' you are precious to me.
      You are honored, and I love you.'
 5 'Do not be afraid, for I am with you.
      I will gather you and your children from east and west.' "


Isaiah 49 " 16 See, I have written your name on the palms of my hands.
      Always in my mind..."

I'm not sure why, but this story is the only way I know to end this....

"A woman is laid to rest in her coffin with a fork in her right hand...
all the people at the funeral ponder this, confused by the fork...
During the dinner following the funeral a family member stands to pray for the meal & includes this story from the bereaved....


'At community & church dinners (especially in small towns) your are told to 'hold onto your fork' for the dessert to follow the meal... Aunt Suzi's peach cobbler... Granny's almond cake... 


My dear friends, I am holding a fork today, because I have left this world... but I have gone to meet my maker... to laugh and dance and sing with Jesus my Savior... and friends... heaven is like the dessert you saved your fork for ... the best is yet to come' ....."

..."daddy daycare ..."

My youngest son and husband spent the afternoon bonding... with his older brother/keeper/playmate out of the house at a birthday party, our kindergartner found himself "chasing his tail" ...

My husband & I were at the computer doing a little Quick Books... weekly budget meeting ....

I heard something whiz through the air & felt a foam dart hit me in the back ... I turned to see a "bandit" performing a stick up.  Our 6 year-old needed a playmate .... I was headed out for a much needed run, my husband asked me that morning, "when I was going running?" ... code for: you are being grumpy & need a little "hamster on the wheel" therapy ....

So I left the two of them to find their way together for the afternoon...

When I returned home a few hours later, the truck wasn't in the garage... the guys were out on an adventure...

When they burst through the door my son narrated their afternoon for me.... they built forts with the card table & pillow ... they had a Nerf™Gun war, complete with motorcycle helmets ... they headed to McDonald's for a Happy Meal (something I never splurge for, we order off the $1 menu) .... selecting sour gummie worms at our local Chocolate Shoppe... riding in the front seat of the truck....

... but his favorite part of the day was their stop by the public library ... they picked out "free" movies to rent... played checkers... and then my husband taught him to play chess... our youngest LOVED having his dad all to himself... even if it was only for a few hours...

In Proverbs 10 Solomon enlightens us on child rearing... Proverbs 10: 1  "A wise child brings joy to a father ..."

As parents we don't have to spend money on our kids to create joy ... we don't have to take them to exciting places ... all they really want is to hang out with us ... to spend time with us ... playing games, breaking bread ... the act of fellow-shipping with our offspring .... they want to consume the currency of our time.

This has me thinking, how often do I make a point of fellow-shipping with my boys?  Of the 73 hours, give or take, that they are not in school ... how much of it do I spend with them "just being?" ...& if we did just "be" together, what bushels of joy would overflow...

I am always rushing my boys ... brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on your shoes & socks, grab your backpack ... eat your snack... practice the piano... do your homework... read your book... practice site words... change into your karate suit .... the list of nags goes on and on in my head...

Watching my husband & son yesterday has made me realize that this week I'm going to schedule a "date" with one of my boys ... maybe we will trade off weeks, alternating turns ... just to spend a little one on one time together ...

... "going on a group date ..."

My nine year-old son has a birthday party to attend today.  The birthday boy & girl are fraternal twins in his 3rd grade class.  They have always invited the entire class for a big party.  Last year it was a swim party at their grandma's pool... this year it is a movie party.  The whole gang is going to see "Hop."  My sons have a rather unique opportunity .... they attend a Christian school with only one section of each grade.  They will spend each and every year surrounded by the same kids.  This can be good if you all "love each other."  And annoying when and individual "rubs you the wrong way."  As believers we are encouraged to be in small groups and fellowship with other believers .... being in a small, close knit community such as our school, provides that with out intention.  


When my kids interact with their classmates in non-school situations, church, soccer, scouts ... the kinship they have developed is apparent.  The girls are always "mothering" the boys, tattling their shenanigans with the love of keeping them out of danger.  The boys are always pestering, trying to get a rise out of the girls.  As a former teacher, I realize in today's society it is rare for children to spend many school years surrounded by the same individuals.... many schools having as many as 5-8 sections of each grade.  As a culture, is this generation missing out on the intimacy and social connection that many of us parents grew up with?

In loo of gift,s the birthday family asked for donations of non-perishable food to be donated to the local food bank.  What an amazing opportunity for this "small group" of third graders to experience the gift of giving at it's truest meaning.  Kids these days have bedrooms and playrooms filled with toys and video games.... how much "stuff" does one really need?  Life is full of "too much, too much-ness." Helping those in need, who are REALLY in need of a basic thing essential to survival.... food, is a very eye opening experience .... especially for nine year olds.


So my son took his "giving envelope" (10% of his weekly commission, we follow the Dave Ramsey Financial Peace Jr. model) and bought bags of food.  Five boxes mac & cheese, 10 cans of veggies, 2 jars of peanut butter.  He commented that next time he is eating & feels like leaving half the plate untouched he will "think about the people who got his food donation."  This made me smile, a TRUE life lesson in giving... paying it forward.... showing others Christ's love.


In Genesis Moses narrates a "giving" story of giving for us....


Genesis 43:34 (New Living Translation)     ^"34 And Joseph filled their plates with food from his own table, giving Benjamin five times as much as he gave the others. So they feasted and drank freely with him."

Joseph gave food to his brothers.... freely ... the same brothers who sold him into slavery in Egypt... what a portrait of un-begrudging love.


In Matthew we are instructed to show others the love of the Lord.


Matthew 22:37-40 (New Living Translation)     " ³⁷ Jesus replied, 'You must love the Lord your God with all your heart, all your soul, and all your mind.’^[a] 38 This is the first and greatest commandment. ³⁹ A second is equally important: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’^[b] 40 The entire law and all the demands of the prophets are based on these two commandments.' ”

So my son commented that today's birthday party is a lot like a "group date."  A concept I 'm not sure where he learned of... probably some Disney or Nickelodeon sitcom that a babysitter permitted to be tuned into (we are VERY selective about what media goes into their brains).... I explained that they are too young to "date" & that it's like a jumbo playdate... in a movie theater....
At the age where crushes are developing.... in a world that encourages kids to mature much too rapidly... I am grateful that my son is growing up in a community of believers... with kids and families that truly live this Matthew 22 principle ... loving their neighbor as themselves!

"lions and tigers and bears, oh my..."

I had the opportunity to spend the day in Chicago this week with a friend and her 3 year-old twins.  With her husband out of the country this week, and me child-less from 8a.m.-3p.m. we decided to take in the Lincoln Park Zoo.  http://www.lpzoo.org/

The Lincoln Park Zoo is one of the few free zoos in the US. It has all of the major animals in a condensed acreage that is manageable for small children.

My boys were a bit jealous, being zoo lovers themselves.  They are trying to talk us into heading there this Sunday... we'll see... maybe if the weather cooperates.

We dropped our big kids off at school hit the freeway.  Chicago is such an amazing Midwestern city... only 65 miles from our little town.  We were at the zoo in a little over an hour, pulling the little double tri-genarians in a red radio flyer.

As a child we took in lots of zoos in the cities we visited family in... Wichita, Salina, Colorado Springs, Rapid City ...

It is actually rather odd when you think about it.... caging these majestic creatures so we can "oogle" at them...

I captured this shot of "the king of the jungle," ... maybe he needs his morning caffeine .... he was just completely aloof to the humans vying for his attention.

Taking in the sites, smells & sounds with toddlers who notice EVERYTHING had me wondering what life was like on Noah's ark... I'm sure the ark smelled "ripe" .... I'm sure it sounded "like a zoo" ...

The Lord told Noah to bring the animals 2-by-2 to the ark he had instructed him to build.


Genesis 6:19-22 (New Living Translation)
"19 Bring a pair of every kind of animal—a male and a female—into the boat with you to keep them alive during the flood. 20 Pairs of every kind of bird, and every kind of animal, and every kind of small animal that scurries along the ground, will come to you to be kept alive. 21 And be sure to take on board enough food for your family and for all the animals.

 22 So Noah did everything exactly as God had commanded him."


If those animals had any clue about what the world was about to undergo, they would have been vying for the Lord's attention.... pick me, choose me....

We are fortunate that for the time being the Lord has blessed us with health and safety... no natural disasters are headed our way.... at least for today.... "maybe I better knock on wood?"

We are blessed because we worship a loving God.... a Father who has chosen us.... CHOSEN US.... chosen sinful, wretched humans like me.... we don't have to be like the animals trying to get picked to be on the ark.... I'll bet the lion gave his loudest roar to be noticed, the giraffes stood extra tall, the peacocks plumage spread in brilliance....

The Lord, Emmanuel, "God with us," has chosen us.... he loves us unconditionally, regardless of our flaws & faults .... it is up to us if we accept His invitation to enter into a friendship with Him, with THE King of Kings... wow, he wants me to intimately know Him, to talk with Him, to Be with Him.....

So now this has me thinking.... will I be like the Lion at Lincoln Park and lazily yawn at the Lord's invitation? ... or will I prayerfully commit my days to Him just as Noah "did everything exactly as the Lord commanded?"

In Genesis 8 we see that the flood waters receded... Noah, his family & the animals exited the ark on dry land .... and in verse 22 "the Lord was pleased."

So, will you choose do as Noah did and follow the Lord's commands? .... even in the floods of life are callings that make us feel we are sure to drowned .... even in the uncertainty .... If you do, I know the Lord keeps his promises ... he will show you the rainbow after the rain.