..."tongue tied..."

Those of you who know me personally, know that God blessed me with the gift of gab. I, like my father, could talk the leg off a snake. It is rare, but I have come across a few friends who can out talk me. So this tale is about the Lord rendering me.... speechless.

I was asked to read a poem titled Grace at our church service Sunday.
Public speaking doesn't usually rattle my nerves. I have often been
family & friends "go-to"...asked to read scriptures and poems at
weddings... to say the blessing & toast the bride & groom at
receptions. As a former middle school teacher, I just picture the
audience as adolescents.

I read slowly into the mic, then I began to feel the Holy Spirit fill
me. I became overcome by the Lord's grace & love for me....I almost
couldn't finish. I paused and the Lord spilled the rest of the
poem out of my mouth.

This is a feeling that is different for everyone. Some have described
it as a feeling of pressure on their shoulder or chest. For me it is
the sensation of internal goose bumps; a warmth that starts at my
scalp & travels slowly down to my knees. Like sunshine spreading
through my veins.

Sunday's reading brought back a childhood memory. In first grade I was
responsible for reading the gospel during a catholic school mass planned by my
first grade class. I was the age of my youngest son at the time. I had practiced my reading for my parents at home, but I got to the mic & froze.

I believe the reading was one of Paul's epistles. During a catholic
mass you introduce the reading as: "a letter from the apostle Paul to
the...(insert name of the city the letter was written to: Corinthians,
Galatians, Ephesians)

I knew the passage name, but it wasn't printed as a letter to....

I stood silent & still at the lectern, staring at the elementary
congregation.  Finally the priest came over to ask what was wrong. I
told him I didn't know how to introduce the reading. He whispered it
into my ear, I said it aloud with the epistle following.

In the Psalms we are instructed to be silent.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still (I interpret still-ing my mouth.) and know that I am God."

Jesus rebuked the wind during the storm.
Mark 4:39 "Quiet! Be still!"

When we heed this heavenly suggestion.... we are able to feel, recognize, notice His grace as it envelopes us...transcends us...

I have been cramming my calendar lately. Filling it with coffee prayer partners, lunching with mentors, surrounding myself with awesome Godly women (2012 resolution).
The question that has been creeping into my mind is... What are you avoiding Becca? I know in my conscience the Lord has a few things He wants me to meditate on... to wrestle with in my heart & mind.... I just needed my tongue tied as a reminder that His grace is enough & I need to take some solitude to thank Him.

-from Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist

"Grace"

"Grace isn't about netting out on the right side of things.


If arithmetic is numbers, and if algebra is numbers and letters, then grace is numbers, letters, sounds, and tears, feelings and dreams. Grace is smashing the calculator, and using all the broken buttons and pieces to make a mosaic.


Grace isn't about having a second chance; grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and never come up empty. It's when you finally realize that the other shoe isn't going to drop, ever. It's the moment you feel as precious and handmade as every start, when you feel, finally, at home for the very fist time.


Grace is when you finally stop keeping score and when you realize that God never was, that his game is a different one entirely. Grace is when the silence is so complete that you can hear your won heartbeat, and right within your ribs, God's beating heart, too."