..."sunshine..."

This is a tale of a getaway to the city.  The hubs and I had wanted to get a way this winter.  With a business trip looming next month, winter has almost elapsed; we decided to escape to Chicago.  A newly married couple stayed with the fellers,  giving them a break from their grouchy exhausted parents.

What fun it was to spend time reconnecting as a couple.  We decided to have a progressive dinner.  We had an hors d'oeuvre at one restaurant... shared an entree at another... a final stop for dessert.

The following morning we "coffee'd" and read our eBooks... people watched from the arm chair separated from the sidewalk by a pane of glass.

We did a little window shopping... making a wish list of things that would someday look at home in our cozy casa. (this was the hubs favorite)  The hubs picked out a few frocks for me to wear at some upcoming family events.... fashion show as he calls it.

@ The James Hotel - David Burke's Prime House

Then as late afternoon & happy hour approached.... we started our progressive eating again:  The James... Park Place Hyatt's NoMi... Joe's... 

 (did I mention I added 3 lb. to my figure? jogging in my near future....)

We had time to inquire on the other's dreams, fears... thoughts, feelings... to fellowship as a couple.

One of the things I love most about the city is the effect the skyscrapers have on the sunshine, the shadows they cast.  I took some great pictures last spring of different flower boxes/planters and how the the sunshine or shadow effected their contents and the lushness.  (but must not have saved on our iCloud, darn it) On one side of the street the concrete and steel can be completely enveloped in shade... chilled from the lack of solar energy.But across the street, out of the shadow of the skyscraper, the sun shines brightly... radiating it's light & warmth.

In her book Eat, Pray, Love Elizabeth Gilbert speaks of this,
“I crossed the street to walk in the sunshine.”

It is easy in life to sink into the routine, hum-drum, normalcy of life, but every now and then we need a break from the shadow that routine can cast... to cross the street into the sunshine.  Do something out of the ordinary. Go for a walk in the woods. Go watch children play at the park. Sit at the edge of a fountain and let the water relax your soul. Take a few minutes to, "...cross the street & walk in the light."

“Americans have an inability to relax into sheer pleasure.Ours is an entertainment seeking-nation, but not necessarily a pleasure-seeking one....This is the cause of that great sad American stereotype- the overstressed executive who goes on vacation, but who cannot relax.” 
― Elizabeth Gilbert, Eat, Pray, Love


The above quote was said to Elizabeth by an Italian friend.  They have mastered the art of enjoying doing nothing... the simple pleasure of living... relaxing... “La Dolce Vita." .... simple life.

We arrived home refreshed, "youthful," passionate once again. Ready to take on all life as a CFO & not-so-desparate-housewife has to offer.

The fellers, & most importantly their caregivers, were all intact... embracing in reunion after a mutual... much needed respite.  The sun continued to beam in NW Indiana... making for a grand afternoon out in the woods... meditating on the idea...

"The shadow proves the sunshine." - SWITCHFOOT

..."tongue tied..."

Those of you who know me personally, know that God blessed me with the gift of gab. I, like my father, could talk the leg off a snake. It is rare, but I have come across a few friends who can out talk me. So this tale is about the Lord rendering me.... speechless.

I was asked to read a poem titled Grace at our church service Sunday.
Public speaking doesn't usually rattle my nerves. I have often been
family & friends "go-to"...asked to read scriptures and poems at
weddings... to say the blessing & toast the bride & groom at
receptions. As a former middle school teacher, I just picture the
audience as adolescents.

I read slowly into the mic, then I began to feel the Holy Spirit fill
me. I became overcome by the Lord's grace & love for me....I almost
couldn't finish. I paused and the Lord spilled the rest of the
poem out of my mouth.

This is a feeling that is different for everyone. Some have described
it as a feeling of pressure on their shoulder or chest. For me it is
the sensation of internal goose bumps; a warmth that starts at my
scalp & travels slowly down to my knees. Like sunshine spreading
through my veins.

Sunday's reading brought back a childhood memory. In first grade I was
responsible for reading the gospel during a catholic school mass planned by my
first grade class. I was the age of my youngest son at the time. I had practiced my reading for my parents at home, but I got to the mic & froze.

I believe the reading was one of Paul's epistles. During a catholic
mass you introduce the reading as: "a letter from the apostle Paul to
the...(insert name of the city the letter was written to: Corinthians,
Galatians, Ephesians)

I knew the passage name, but it wasn't printed as a letter to....

I stood silent & still at the lectern, staring at the elementary
congregation.  Finally the priest came over to ask what was wrong. I
told him I didn't know how to introduce the reading. He whispered it
into my ear, I said it aloud with the epistle following.

In the Psalms we are instructed to be silent.
Psalm 46:10 "Be still (I interpret still-ing my mouth.) and know that I am God."

Jesus rebuked the wind during the storm.
Mark 4:39 "Quiet! Be still!"

When we heed this heavenly suggestion.... we are able to feel, recognize, notice His grace as it envelopes us...transcends us...

I have been cramming my calendar lately. Filling it with coffee prayer partners, lunching with mentors, surrounding myself with awesome Godly women (2012 resolution).
The question that has been creeping into my mind is... What are you avoiding Becca? I know in my conscience the Lord has a few things He wants me to meditate on... to wrestle with in my heart & mind.... I just needed my tongue tied as a reminder that His grace is enough & I need to take some solitude to thank Him.

-from Bittersweet by Shauna Niequist

"Grace"

"Grace isn't about netting out on the right side of things.


If arithmetic is numbers, and if algebra is numbers and letters, then grace is numbers, letters, sounds, and tears, feelings and dreams. Grace is smashing the calculator, and using all the broken buttons and pieces to make a mosaic.


Grace isn't about having a second chance; grace is having so many chances that you could use them through all eternity and never come up empty. It's when you finally realize that the other shoe isn't going to drop, ever. It's the moment you feel as precious and handmade as every start, when you feel, finally, at home for the very fist time.


Grace is when you finally stop keeping score and when you realize that God never was, that his game is a different one entirely. Grace is when the silence is so complete that you can hear your won heartbeat, and right within your ribs, God's beating heart, too."

..."back in the saddle..."

This tale has a few "rabbit trails," ... but stick with it, it all comes full circle by the conclusion...

My sister called last night.  I was finishing up a run at the gym. I logged 4.25 miles.  I have been on "sabbatical" from cardio for the past few weeks. It just hasn't fit into my schedule. I have been squeezing in my weight-lifting once or twice a week, but the cario had gone to the wayside.

My sis asked, "What are you doing?"  "I'm back in the saddle," I replied.  It felt good to run again.  My hubs has been pestering me about it.  He is either worried about my mental health (much less grumpy when I run regularly) &/or he is fearful I will regain the 30+ lb's I have lost since taking up the healthy hobby of my teen-youth years. ( see blog April 11, 2011) ....

Truly my hubs is my accountability partner & knows how frustrated I will be with myself if I let the muscles, strength & endurance I have built fade away.

Back to the phone call from my sis (sort of)....
When I told her I was back in the saddle, it stirred a childhood tale in my mind.  When I was 12, my dad bought me an old horse.  He had a buddy who would buy the rodeo livestock when it was ready to be "put to pasture."  Calves which would lay down & put their legs in the air to be roped... and my old mare.  We named her Sammie and enjoyed trotting her around, usually bare back (without a saddle for all you city folk).

My uncle attended an annual trail ride in Russel Springs, Kansas. I had taken to tagging along each year.  We would camp, ride 10+miles on Saturday & a shorter scenic ride on Sunday.  The year Dad bought Sammie my sister joined us.  Sammie was little, tame and a perfect ride for my 8 year-old sister.  About half way through the ride, Sammie decided she had enough... laid down in the middle of the trail... and tried to shake my sister & the saddle off...
Remember, I usually rode her bare back... so wearing a saddle in the June Kansas heat & riding 10 miles was not Sammie's idea of a good time.  My sis hopped on the back of one of our horses and we lead Sammie the remaining way to camp pulling her by the reins.

This childhood tale has me thinking about other parts of my life that I have "slipped off the saddle."

Just like my jogging habit, there are times when my spiritual life is pushed to the back burner.... squeezed out by the busy-ness of life... the commitments I make & give a higher priority.

-not taking extended moments of silence and solitude...
-not meeting regularly with my spiritual mentor...
-not digging deep into God's word...

So dear readers, as I get ready to lace up my running shoes & head back to the gym I am blocking out an hour this afternoon for my quiet time with the Lord.
-To sit and pray my breath prayer, "Here I am Lord, help my heart to listen."
-To read my small group study of Ruth Haley Barton's Sacred Rhythms.

-To get back in the saddle & be disciplined in my living.

..."Geo-bee..."

Here is a tale of my eldest... the geography buff.

My 4th grader often enters the car following school, discouraged. Deflated after the school day. He is a highly expressive, dramatic kid (Drama King). Most things are a BIG deal to him, and at this stage ... usually discouraging (man I can't wait until the hormones kick in!)

So one day just shortly before Christmas, he entered the car trying to contain the smile on his face. He was waiting for me to ask, "How was your day? Name one great thing."

"Today we had a geography quiz & guess who is a finalist in the school geography bee?"

He was grinning from ear to ear... To have good news to share. To be encouraged.

He spent the month that followed parousing all the back issues of National Geographic, the subscription a gift to satisfy his keenness for the Earth & it's history. He practiced US geography on a new iPad app, "Stack the States."

When the day of the school geography bee came, he was cool as a cucumber. He had prepared his whole life for this. Each class grades 4th-8th had two class finalists. He and his fellow 4th grader were the youngest by almost half a decade!

The cool thing about fourth graders, is they don't get nervous. At least not our son. He was excited, maybe even goofy, but not scared of the task ahead.

His classmate was given a question in which the answer was Kansas (where the grandmas & grandpas live... cake). My son was given a question about Massachusetts. He had advanced into the next round. He continued on, holding his own until his fourth question. Then fear set in. He looked at my husband and I with a look of fear, as though he had let us down. We gave him a thumbs up as he couldn't leave the stage until the end of the round. His classmate was still in the competition. Upon answering his next question correct, our son looked eagerly at his peer & clapped loudly with a proud grin on his face...
He was encouraging his neighbor.

This was the proudest moment for me. To see my son enthusiastically encouraging another... even after his own defeat.

At the end of the round our eldest was permitted to leave the stage. He sat between my husband and I and melted into our embrace. We continued rooting for his fellow fourth grader.... Who ended up placing 3rd! Amazing for a boy 4 years younger than the competition, in his first ever geography bee!

The lesson I took away from this tale is....

We are on this Earth to encourage... to build each other up!

In the New Testament the apostle Paul tells of encouragement....

1Thesselonians 5:11 NIV
"11 Therefore encourage one another and build each other up..."

At what age did I loose that childlike ability? To encourage and build one another up with egar enthusiasm.
This was a lesson from the Lord.
That I need to be an encourager to my hubs & sons, to build them up with positive words... positive tone & inflection. For this is what the Lord is calling us to, just as my son modeled for me.

When our son left the stage, his first geography bee concluded he looked at my hubs and whispered in his ear, "There's always next year."

Always the encourager...

..."zamboni..."

My sister recently came for a visit.  When you live 4 states away from your family, there is an excitement that company brings... almost like the anticipation of Christmas morning.

The fellers and I pointed the land yacht towards Cicero and gathered their auntie.  We had tentative plans of investigating Sue's T-Rex skeletal remains at the Field.  As we drove to the parking, submerged under Millennium Park, we saw the ice rink and our plans took a detour.  We had wanted to skate the weekend gram and gramp were here in November, but our urban outing was laced with rain, detouring that days plans.... today was our chance and God had graced us with 40 degree temperatures to boot!

After a bowl of soup and a cup'a java to warm us internally, we headed to rent some skates.  My oldest and his auntie were going to give it a try.  At first he clung to the railing that edged the rink, feet awkwardly akimbo... shedding a few tears as his socks tried to slink down in his boot, rubbing his shins raw.  He eventually developed his "sea legs" and was venturing away from the railing.

Once they had barely completed three-quarters of a lap, my youngest exclaimed, "I think I'd like to give it a try."   This is the boy who does not always handle new-challenging-unique situations ... I was leery of what the outcome would be.

After we had laced up he was so eager to hit the ice.  Immediately he wanted to stray from the railing... encouraging me to do the same.  I was gripped by fear... he was full of courage.

Once I had completed a few laps I needed a break.  My oldest was gliding by, smiling and waving... his fear had dissipated.  My youngest was along side his auntie asking her, "Why do people chuckle when someone falls."  She explained that we were laughing with his big brother as he was flailing around on his neophyte lap, but we weren't belittling him.

He was rather chatty with his auntie.  Explaining that he didn't know how to skate when he had woken up that morning &  "Now I am awesome."

We had skated for a couple of hours without one complaint of cold. It was time for the rink crew to smooth out the ice with the Zamboni, and we were all asked to exit.  The Zamboni worked it's magic; smoothing the rink to a glass-like state.

During my break on the bench my mind began to think about fear & courage.... and the Zamboni.  As children, we live life without fear, full of courage and belief in our capabilities.  I the adult clung to the rail with fear; my sons ventured out in courage. They enjoyed themselves, took pride in their abilities, had faith that they wouldn't be hurt.

This is a reflection of my faith life.  If I live without trust and faith in the Lord, I am not fully enjoying all He has to offer.

In the Old Testament the Lord spoke to Joshua about courage.

Joshua 1:9

New International Version (NIV)

^"9...Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Leaving the ice... notice they are skating "up stream." My little salmons.


If we live this life we have been given with courage; with child-like faith, then the Lord will give us strength in our trials.  He will be like the Zamboni... smoothing away all the scrapes and dings.

..."too-much'ness..."

I was blessed this past weekend with being invited to fill in at my sons Children's Worship.  The fellers head to the basement each Sunday for an amazing worship at their pediatric level.  They dance... cha-cha... sing... hear the word of the Lord, discuss it in small groups... & play (childhood fellowship).

I stood amazed at the fabulous job the worship leader does. She meets them where "they are at."  Loving those little hearts & minds just as Jesus would (& does through her).

The kids sermons for the month of January have been focused on Self-Control... a fruit of the Spirit found in the book of Galatians.


The skit for the sermon intro depicted an adult playing video games incessantly, grazing on two "good things" brownies & pizza.... But too much of a good thing can make us feel ICKY... vomit as Ms. Kristen read in the New Testament (yes the kids NIV actually says vomit).

I admit dear readers, self-control is not my strong suit.  I love my favorite things.... coffee, salsa, milk chocolate chips, diet soda, wine, potato & tortilla chips, facebook, pinterest, reading on my kindle, angry bird, watching old '80's movies ... notice the list could go on-&-on ...

Too much of a good thing is what I like to call "too-much-too-much'ness." It is okay in little bits, but when we resign any form of self-control it begins to make us ICKY.

So I have embarked on a juice fast with the hubs.  We are consuming fruit & veggie juice, blended in our
new Ninja blender, for breakfast and dinner.  Lunches will stay at our norm, lean protein & veggies. We've recently been inspired by some friends who are doing the same as a couple.  Starvation makes the heart grow fonder, right?

I know it may sound wacky, but I want to eliminate the distractions that are taking my attention away from the Lord.  When I really want a bowl of chips and salsa... I want to be able to focus my desires and attention on the Lord... have self-control.... and get healthy too.

So friends,  I'm sure there will be a few tales of me about this adventure...
gnawing my arm off...
I had a "food" dream in my slumber last night, it may have involved some candy ...
I may have sleepwalked and dug out of the Halloween bags at the back of the pantry ....
We'll see how long we last....

..."quirky..."

The Lord has been at work in my life... I don't know where to begin.

As I have shared in past tales, our 1st grader has been diagnosed with Sensory Processing Disorder - SPD (formerly called Sensory Integration).  It is a neurological dysfunction where the neurotransmitters do not correctly send and receive the brain messages, resulting in inappropriate responses to his surroundings.... quirky behavior at times of stress, chaos, over-stimulation.
At school is appears to be about to explode out of his skin... fidgeting, moving, spouting out what ever comes to his mind.
At home he is calm, low registration, as his physician a occupational therapist describe. He can read National Geographic, Lego, listen to Harry Potter novels calmly... for hours on end.

We are going through the long (waiting process) of an evaluation by the LEND Program at Riley Children's Hospital, the top program in the nation for social dysfunctions.

We are praying for the Lords guidance as to what is best for our dear-sweet-uber-intelligent boy.  It seems as though he and his brain may not be cut out for the cookie cutter education America has grown accustomed to in the past 100 years.  This is hard for me, a former Kansas Teacher of the Year Nominee, who strove to bring eccentric differentiated (leveled) hands-on learning into my classroom.  We have watched God's plan for our son's life unfold... being called to Christian education for be surrounded and loved by fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. His former pre-school teacher telling me once (while he was actually in utero), "Sometimes there isn't enough play dough for some kids."
Having a kindergarten teacher who attended a conference on SPD and first introduced the disorder to our family... having 1st grade teachers who have known him since he was born & worked closely with the kindergarten teacher to meet him and love him"where he is at."

Today is day 101 in 1st grade at school. The children dressed as dalmatians, donning black & while.  They individually created projects out of 101 black & white objects.  We had to carry the project , a NASA command center, into school this morning.  It was so fun to see all of the projects; help a boy re-build after his project crumbled in his backpack; ask about their construction process.

This morning the whole school was starting the day with a chapel service. My 1st grader asked, "Mom, would you like to join us at chapel?"

So I tagged along in my gray velour sweat suit, sat on the floor Indian style between two 1st graders.  The chapel began with singing lead by Covenant Christian High School students (a few babysitters that watch the fellers). Then the message was given by a CCHS senior about being different.  She was born in South Korea & due to an infection as an infant, has hip & pelvic dysplasia. She was adopted by a DeMotte family, and shared how the Lords plan for her life has unfolded.

She shared that we have to take the differences in how the Lord uniquely created each of us and use it for His glory.  She asked the students what they wanted to be "when they grew up" (I didn't raise my hand, I'm still figuring it out).  She brought the mic to my little fellers face and he replied, "An engineer."

What followed was a flood of joyful, fearful tears down my cheeks.  For the Lord knew I needed to be present at chapel today... To let Kim's story be used for His glory for our families ears to hear. My 1st grader whispered in my ear, "Why are you crying Mom?" "Because God has blessed me," I replied.

"Please stop crying," he pleaded. Boys will be boys.

The kindergarten teacher approached us after chapel had concluded... embraced me in a hug, hugged my son & told him how proud she is of him and his dream to be an engineer.

There are many other parts to this tale...
other ways the Lord has spoken to me through His gospel...
through my small group study of Bartamaeus ...
through other mothers He has placed in my life to be my sounding board ...
.... but those are tales for another day.

Kim ended her testimony with a passage from the New Testament....

1 Thessalonians 5

New International Version (NIV)

^"16 Rejoice always, ¹⁷ pray continually, ¹⁸ give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus."

Words of wisdom from God's word... shared today by a teenager... the Lord uses all of us, the meek, the weak, the quirky, the crazy... for His glory.

Rejoice... pray... give thanks... 

In the words of John Ortberg, "Everybody's normal, until you get to know them."